The Enlightenment Technique
Position: Two individuals, not involved in trying to straighten out their relationship, sitting in a dyad.
Instruction: One partner says directly to the other, "Tell me who you are." Other instructions to be used are, "Tell me what you are," "Tell me what life is," "Tell me what another is."
Reception: The one receiving the instruction accepts it from the one who has given it, and begins contemplating.
Communication: the contemplator then gets across to the listener whatever occurred as a result of contemplating, trying not to leave anything out or add anything.
Listening: the listener watches, listens and tries to understand, without commenting, nodding or evaluating in any way.
If the gong technique is being used, the contemplator repeats the process of contemplating and communicating, keeping a rough balance of time spent in each, until the five minute gong sounds.
Acknowledgment: the listening partner then says to the contemplator, "Thank you," acknowledging the contemplator for his or her response to the original instruction.
Change-over: the roles reverse. The former contemplator gives the appropriate instruction to the former listener.
As a coach, help the participant to do this technique as well as he or she can, and accept that. Do not insist on perfection to start with. Gradually work with the participant toward that.
I wish to thank Lawrence Noyes for most of the wording of this page - and for his 10 day course on how to run Enlightenment Intensives.